spikespiegell:

do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”

fatbabe4alwayz:

pleatedjeans:

single-image version

It’s ridiculous how much this is my boss

jakegrifball:

FUCKIN PARTY FOULLLLLL

(Source: pizza-omelette)

ermathursty:

saw this tip jar at my Dairy Queen today and lost it at tipiosa

ermathursty:

saw this tip jar at my Dairy Queen today and lost it at tipiosa

(Source: twentypercentcooler)

moon-roses:

i’m not kidding the worst sound ever is the crack in the voice of a person who is about to cry

(Source: divvn)

unexplained-events:

Ladies and gentlemen….a spring-loaded dick in a box from the 1800s. It made for a great gift

unexplained-events:

Ladies and gentlemen….a spring-loaded dick in a box from the 1800s. It made for a great gift

wingardium-liftiosa:

dancingonthegrave:

THIS IS THE MOST RELEVANT THING I’VE EVER SEEN ON THE INTERNET. EVER. 

Reblogging again because it’s more true now than it’s ever been.

(Source: eunnieboo)

Nice things to whisper when hugging someone

yogurtville:

-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-soon
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-tonight….you.
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-yessssssssssssss
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this